High Maintenance...

Dude.  Baby girl clothes might be super cute, but I can already tell they are going to be a lot of work. I mean, ironing?  Who does that any more?  Maybe the jeans, t-shirts, and the occasional polo that I have seen exclusively in my house for the last nine years weren't so bad after all.

Really, though.  I just can't get over how fun it is to have pink and frills and ruffles!  I will iron for days if I have to.  This is pretty much a dream come true!  Did I mention that I spent basically my entire childhood playing with dolls and dressing them?  Well, that and climbing trees.

Hang in there, sweet baby girl!

Once a complicated pregnancy, always a complicated pregnancy.  My doctor keeps reminding me that the diagnosis is a chronic placental abruption, and that will remain the diagnosis until this precious baby is born.  And with that diagnosis comes increased risks, even when things have been looking better.  Today, we had quite a scare.  It started with some substantial bleeding, which then led to several hours of contractions that were three minutes apart, which all translated into a day spent in the hospital praying that our baby girl hangs on just a few more weeks.  Thankfully, God continues to protect her and we were able to come home this evening.  But the prayer is that things settle down and she waits another six or seven weeks to make her debut.  I am now 31 weeks, and although I am thankful we have made it this far, I really really want her to wait until at least 37 or 38 weeks to be born.  I desperately want to have her in my arms when she is born. I want to nurse her and bring her home with me and not let her go.  My heart breaks for mamas who have to come home from the hospital without their babies, and I pray that we don't have to face that.  So for now, we wait.  And pray for a few more precious weeks for her to grow and develop safely in the womb.  

Summer Days...

This is how we spend a majority of our summer days.  I am SO thankful we have access to a pool on a regular basis.  I can't imagine what it would be like trying to keep three active boys entertained during our blistering hot summers if we didn't.  Once again, Allison took these pictures.  Thanks for sharing them, Al.  I love them.  And I also love not being on bed rest anymore!  

P.S.  For the record, I would like to point out that Ezra just turned two in March and he is jumping off the diving board all by himself.   It is amazing to me to watch what that kid will tackle in order to keep up with the big boys.

Ezra and Stella...

Ezra absolutely adores his baby cousin, Stella.  Allison took these pictures at a school field trip last week, and they are pretty stinking sweet if you ask me!  Watching him with Stella makes me really excited to see how he does with his very own baby sister.  I'm sure it will be an adjustment at first sharing the attention, but in the end I have a feeling he is going to be one awesome big brother.

The Graduate...

Yesterday, Silas officially graduated from Kindergarten!  He is a good kid and a hard worker, and we are incredibly proud of him.  Well done, buddy!  You will do great in first grade.  For the record, he wants to be an engineer and a dad (I got very teary eyed when I heard that last part... he definitely has a great example for a father).

Strawberry Harvest...

It truly is the simple blessings that bring the most joy to life, like precious children, beautiful sunny mornings, and home grown strawberries.

Nine...

Today, our first born son turns nine years old!  Time truly is flying by.  To celebrate his birthday, he chose to go roller skating with his cousin, a fruity pebble rice crispy treat, and dinner at Famous Dave's.  I love this boy more than I can express and am so proud of the kind, sweet, helpful, thoughtful, young boy he has become.  Happy birthday, Owen!

Tucker let Owen try out his Heelys.  Owen and Silas now desperately want them.  Problem is, they are kind of a city toy.  Not very many places they would work out here in the sticks.


Enjoying some time playing with his new presents after school:

Mother's Tea...

Today, I had the special privilege of attending a Mother's Tea at school with Silas.  I LOVE getting to spend time with my boys one at a time.  Silas was a little hesitant when he realized he would be the only boy in attendance at the tea party, but he mustered up the courage (maybe because his teacher offered him a candy bar if he did a really good job) and was quite the little gentleman. He served me my juice and cookies, drew a picture of me for me, and made me a beautiful necklace.  I cried.  I love this sweet boy so much, and it was such a treat to spend such special time with him.  I often wish I had more opportunities to spend alone time with each of my kiddos.  But I also know that siblings are a huge blessing in life and am thankful that we will soon have four children.  Makes me cherish the alone time with them that much more!

Nice smile, huh?

There.  That's more like it.  Man, I love that kid!

Making our way back to normal...

Let me just say, it feels SO SO good to be able to do normal life again.  But I also have to say, it has been SO SO exhausting!  I mean, being pregnant with your fourth child and chasing around three little boys (including an oh-so-two-year-old) is pretty hard work on its own.  But add to that having spent nine weeks sitting still, and it is no simple task getting myself back into a somewhat normal mode.  To be honest, I feel exactly like I did when I was nine months pregnant with the others.  And I still have three really hot months to go!  Wish me luck.  Seriously, though.  I am incredibly thankful to even have the opportunity to live my life again while still pregnant with this precious baby.  So I will gladly endure three more hot, exhausting months if it means I get to hold my baby girl in my arms in the end.

In somewhat related news, Ezra is now officially in a big boy bed.  We are getting all of the kids' rooms switched around and the crib has made its way into the nursery.  So far, he has done pretty well with the adjustment. 

In other not so related news, our Iceberg rose hedge is in full bloom and it is unbelievable.  These photos truly don't do it justice.  These bushes are taller than C.J.'s truck and they are absolutely covered in blossoms.  Wish you could see them in person:

There are no words...

Ok, maybe there are words but none of them seem to do justice to the awe I am feeling right now at how good God is!  Today, I went in for my 24 week check up.  On Monday, I had an MRI done to look more closely at the placenta to see exactly how it is attached and how extensive the separation is.  I also had an ultrasound done yesterday to check baby's growth.  At my last ultrasound three weeks ago, she was measuring in the 14th percentile for overall size. The goal was to keep her from dropping below the 10th percentile, a situation which would have required weekly ultrasounds with new doctors at a high risk clinic.  Well this morning, my doctor went over the results of all of these tests with me.  And guess what?  Our baby truly is a miracle! She is now measuring in the 50th percentile for size.  Did that register?  She went from the 14th percentile to the 50th in just three short weeks!  As for the MRI results and the ultrasound, they no longer see any damage to the placenta.  In fact, I think the MRI report said something along the lines of "there is no evidence of any damage to the placenta."  Did that register?  No damage visible.  People, this does not happen.  After the devastating 15 week ultrasound, my doctor told me there was a 10% chance baby would survive.  The damage to the placenta would not heal.  The hope was that the new growth of the placenta would sustain baby's life, but the part that had separated would shrivel up and look calcified should she make it to full term.  Right now, the placenta looks perfectly normal.  I can't even begin to describe how amazed I am at God's protection of this little life.  And I can't really grasp how perfectly He designed our bodies.  To be able to recover from something so dire and to not only protect the baby inside of me, but to allow her to grow and thrive under such conditions is amazing.  I am truly in awe.   Do you know what this means?  NO MORE BED REST!!  As long as she continues to grow at a good rate and there is no more bleeding, my doctor thinks I can safely resume a normal life (within reason).  I still have to take it easy and can't do any strenuous exercise, but she thinks I can safely take care of my boys by myself!  Oh man.  You have NO idea how amazing that feels!  I think we all (including all of our family members who have been taking care of my entire life for me) need normal life back more than we realized.  It's hard to not want to tackle everything at once, though.  I am going to have to force myself to slowly ease back into things.  But even using the stairs on my way out of the doctor's office and coming home and doing a load of laundry and sweeping my house feels like a huge treat!  So now, we pray that she continues to grow and we don't have any further bleeding or complications.  But I am praising God for His incredible blessing and protection.  He has blown me away!

Here, take a peek at our beautiful daughter:

Also, take a peek at the growing (thankfully!)  baby bump:


P.S. Every time I look at that picture of myself, I can't help but think that the combination of the mirror and iPhone is a bit misleading.  I don't look nearly that tall or trim in real life.  You can always tell by the sideways fingers.  When they look extra short and stubby sideways, you know the image is being lengthened somehow.  But really, it's probably better that way.  No pregnant mama needs a mirror that makes her look shorter and wider than she is.  ;)  

Early Morning Blessings...

Friends...

This weekend we were blessed by a visit from two of my dearest friends from college and their little ones.  I lived with Marla my first two years in the dorms, and then lived with Megan in a house off campus my last two years.  These girls are so special to me.  No matter how much time goes by between visits, we are always able to pick up right where we left off.  It was so much fun to get to see all of our little ones running around together for a few days.  And I also need to say, they were SUCH good sports about their hostess being on bed rest.  I didn't do any of the normal cooking, cleaning, or prepping I typically would have done, but we had fun just the same.  (Fortunately my mom washed sheets and scrubbed a few bathrooms.  Thanks for coming to the rescue, mom!) Girls, it was such a joy to get to catch up!  Let's not let it be another five years before we make it happen again!

A Dream Come True...

I have dreamt my entire life of having a daughter.  When people would ask me at the beginning of this pregnancy if I was hoping for a girl, my response was "I don't just want a daughter, I ache for a daughter!"  And I am still having a hard time grasping that this sweet, precious baby really is a girl.  Considering the circumstances, I am still a little bit guarded.  Part of my heart is bursting with joy inside of me , and part of me is scared.  I want this baby girl so badly.  I want to hold her, and raise her, and have my daughter with me here on this earth.  But, there is still a chance we could lose her.  Every day I have to put her in God's hands once again.  I pray over and over and over that He will protect her life, but ultimately I have to choose to put my hope in who God is, not in a good outcome.   Don't get me wrong. I definitely do hope for a good outcome.  And like I said before, I have come to a place where I plan on having a healthy, full-term baby.  There is no sense fearing and planning on the worst case scenario.  After all, our baby girl is already a fighter and a miracle.  So with that, I thought I would share with you a few darling purchases I have made in preparation for her arrival.  I mean, a mama who has been waiting her entire life to have a daughter has to have a little fun, right?

P.S. These would look a lot cuter if I had ironed them, but ironing isn't really one of the essential tasks that one is allowed to do while on bed rest.  The pictures really don't do them justice.  So what you get here is a straight-out-of-the-box look.  It suffices.

P.P.S.  The darling little white dress and sandals were actually a gift from my sister-in-law.  She obviously knows me well.  I adore them!

Bullseye...

Miracles...

I honestly never really thought I would get to say this, but "It's a girl!!!!"  And I am oh-so incredibly thankful!  God has blessed us with three amazing sons and now we get to enjoy the miracle of a daughter, too.  It still seems a little bit surreal!

For now, our precious baby girl looks healthy.  She is measuring quite small, but that is not at all surprising under the circumstances.  One of the risks with placental abruption is that the baby will not grow as she should because the placenta is not providing the same nourishment that a normal placenta would be.  But for now, she looks ok and I am praising God for that.  They will have to monitor her growth pretty closely from now on.  I will also need to have an MRI to get a more in depth look at the placenta.  There remain risks and I will have to be on bed rest until at least 34 weeks, but I am praising God that He has brought us this far!  It is a miracle that our precious daughter has survived until this point and looks healthy, and I pray constantly that God will continue to protect this little life He created.

Gone Camping...

Owen, Oliver, and Holland pitched a tent in the weeds yesterday and spent a good chunk of the day doing who knows what in it.  It was quite picturesque.  (photo courtesy of Alli)

When Auntie Allison tells Ezra it's time to change his diaper...

When brothers get along...

it's pretty much the best thing ever.

Scenes from bed rest: Mobile edition...

This afternoon, I decided to join my family on an adventure to see Uncle Donny's goats.  I mean, if I can sit in the living room, why not sit in the car and go for a drive?  And let me just say, it was SUCH a wonderful adventure, even if I did just watch from the car.  To get out of the house and enjoy this glorious Saturday afternoon with my boys was exactly what I needed!

As I walked to the car, I discovered what Silas had been working on during Ezra's nap:

The purple mustard is in full bloom right now, and it is beautiful.  Too bad our field of weeds couldn't look like this year round:


Just me and the babe hanging out in the car:






Betcha can't even see Silas, huh?

Two Things...

1.  This morning I thought about the fact that I have now been on bed rest for over five weeks.  I felt a huge sense of accomplishment, like "Oh man, I'm almost there!"  And then I realized I have, potentially, 20 weeks left.  What?!?!?

2.  My boys have been gone all week since it is spring break and I can't take care of them by myself.  They have been in Seattle where my mom and siblings have very graciously taken care of them for me.  Thanks so much, guys!  But what did I do to pass the sheer boredom while alone at my house all week?  Shop online.  Dude.  Trouble!  I don't even officially know yet if this baby is a boy or girl or if it will survive, and yet I have made (ahem) a couple of purchases.  If my family doesn't come back soon, I might need an intervention!