I'm done...

Ok, so getting to build a house has been a HUGE privilege and blessing, I know. But that doesn't mean that it hasn't been challenging at times. I have been relieved and excited that the house has turned out to be almost exactly what we had envisioned before we started the process. I consider that a pretty big success. And up until yesterday, there wasn't a single thing that we had chosen for the house that I regretted. And then we got gutters.

There's a house in town that I absolutely LOVE. It is an older home, grey paint, white trim, black shutters, and........black gutters. I love the place. So, in choosing the color scheme for our house I had this other house in mind. When it came time to choose exterior paint, I thought I was choosing a grey but that turned out to be more beige than grey. Oh well, I still like the color. No biggie. The doors got painted black...loved them. The shutters have yet to arrive, but I'm sure I'll love them, too. But people, we had black gutters put on our house yesterday and I basically hate them. They are, in my opinion, the only part of the house that you would look at and think, "why on earth would you do that?" They totally cover up the pretty white trim. I don't know what happened. I mean, I loved them on the house in town, so why don't I love them on our house? Maybe the different roof lines? When I saw ours from afar, I almost cried. And this put me over the edge.

You see, I am so sick of caring so much about the house. I mean seriously. They're gutters. Are they worth losing sleep and crying over? No. It's a house...one that we are excited to raise our family in and invite others into. I think the problem is, when you build a custom home, you get to choose EVERY SINGLE DETAIL. And that's a good thing. But I think it also takes a lot out of you. It makes EVERY SINGLE DETAIL seem like the most important decision in the world, which it's obviously not. In a way, I'm almost glad that I hate the gutters. I think it brought me back to reality and what's important. Does it really matter if the gutters on our house are not perfect? No. Does it mean we can't still enjoy living here? No. Does it mean that we can't welcome others into our home? No. So really, who cares?

I guess the point to all of this is, I'm ready to be done with this process. Thankfully, there are only a few little tiny things left, because I don't have much left in me. I have enjoyed getting to build a house and am incredibly thankful for it now that we live here. But I'm ready to be a regular person again. One who has a home to live in but doesn't dwell constantly on what it looks like. One who has dinner ready for her husband when he gets home. One who spends the whole day playing outside with the kids, rather than trying to get a bunch of stuff accomplished. So if you come over any time soon and see that the grass is not yet seeded out or there are no towel hooks hung in bathrooms or there are dust bunnies all over the hardwoods, there's a reason. And that reason is: I need to stop with the consuming house stuff for a while and just live.

And P.S. As I drove up to the house today after church and saw the gutters again, I couldn't stop chuckling. So don't feel bad if you do, too, when you see them. Or maybe you won't even notice, cuz you're a normal person.

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What's a blog post without a picture or two? Here are the boys yesterday: