Sweet Baby...

This picture of our beautiful little baby was taken on Thursday.  My heart aches like I can't even explain when I look at this precious child.  I don't know if I will get any days with this baby outside of my body.  I long to hold this little one in my arms.  I long to hear this baby cry, and watch this baby smile, and crawl, and toddle, and run around the yard with the boys.  Medically speaking, it is not very likely that I will ever get to do those things.  But every day that this baby hangs on inside of me, I can't help but hope and pray for one more.  And then one more.  And then I find myself hoping for a miracle, and that leaves me vulnerable and terrified.  I love my sweet baby.  Regardless of the outcome, this will always be my precious child.  But ultimately I know that this is God's child.  And I have no choice but to lay my hopes and dreams for this little one down at His feet and trust.  Trust that His plan surpasses my understanding.