Ok, time for a brutally honest post. People, I am about to go crazy...in more ways than one. First of all, I am getting SO incredibly stir crazy. The weather around here has been the exact same every stinking day for a solid 3 weeks. And that weather is anything but cheery. Dark, cloudy, 40 degrees. Every. single. day. Nothing different. Now don't get me wrong: I love clouds and cozy days. But without any snow or even frost to make it feel like winter, it is just blah. And honestly, with my about-to-give-birth hormones these days, a little sunshine would go a long way.
Which brings me to my main point and the real reason I am going C.R.A.Z.Y.: HORMONES!!! I don't know if any of you ladies out there who have been pregnant before went absolutely bonkers at the end of your pregnancy, but I sure am. And this is something I didn't have to deal with my first two pregnancies. My poor family. During the first trimester of carrying this sweet babe, I felt really good physically but hormonally I was a wreck. Mad. Irritable. Oh-so-tired. Short tempered. It was so bad that I was about to ask my doctor what to do about it but then I hit the 12 week mark and it all went away. And since 12 weeks, I have felt pretty darn good...until about 2 weeks ago. Oof. Something changed hormonally in me and it is not very pleasant. I have read that it is quite normal at the end of pregnancy for your hormones to change drastically since your body is preparing to give birth, but oh man is it discouraging. Yesterday as I was sitting in church, I felt like somebody was literally sending shots of various hormones through my body every few seconds. All of the sudden I would feel like I wanted to bust up laughing, and then a few seconds later I would feel like sobbing, and then a few minutes later my muscles would be burning as though I had just finished an hour long workout with Jillian. And the worst part about it all is that I have had zero patience with my poor kiddos and husband. What on earth am I going to do for another 4 weeks??? I know it's about perspective and I am trying my best to be thankful to even be pregnant and get to experience this miracle in life once again, but honestly it's just really hard. You know, I will probably regret writing this because tomorrow I will likely wake up and feel great and think "what on earth was I complaining about?" But for now, I need a little cheer. The problem is, I have no good ideas of how on earth I am going to keep us all entertained until this sweet baby is born. And that is why you get to see yet a few more pictures of my children playing. Today, Silas discovered an old mobile that I had over Owen's crib when he was a baby and wanted to play with the stuffed animals that were on it. So we cut the thing apart and the boys have been playing with them ever since. I love these boys, I truly do. And I just pray that I will be patient with them and show them joy during the long 4 weeks we have left.
And this is why blogging is good for me: because I can look at these pictures and see the joy that God has in every day, even when we struggle. I can see my children playing together and capture their sweet faces in a photograph and realize that this truly is a time in life to cherish. And if I didn't take the time to blog (or take pictures), I think I would miss out on a lot of joy by focusing solely on the struggles. For that, I am thankful.
